entry no. 1
july 30, 2017
him.
I can’t seem to make peace with myself. I thought I was doing pretty good in moving on but after seeing his story I’m not sure if I am ready. Why is the process of moving on so hard? I need to let go. Let go. Let go. I can do it. I know I can I’ve been through breaks up before. It’s not like this is the first. Yes it does take time but it also takes effort and the right mindset. I need to be in the right mindset. I need to let him go. He is not the right guy for me. Our relationship was beautiful while it lasted, but that time period is over and we have both come to the realization that we are not fit for each other. We may have been for a while, but as we develop more into our own characters we realized that we aren’t. I need to let go of something that isn’t good for me. I need to let go of something that wasn’t meant for me. It takes time but the right mind set will help. I need time to heal, to find myself, to work on my own masterpiece. Do not let others bring you down. Emotions are temporary but you are permanent. This will make you stronger. You can do it because you are enough and you are amazing.
I’m still having an internal struggle because there’s a small part of me telling that it’s just a summer fling. Long distance doesn’t really work out for people and I personally don’t believe he can do long distance. This small chance makes me want to win him back. I know this is not the healthiest thinking but I can’t help it because of that small possibility. I know I shouldn’t keep hoping but I really want to. I guess that’s what dreamers do.
Things are definitely getting better as of now. At least I think so. Jared is really helpful and I think we even might b going on s date when he gets back! I’m not sure if I’m ready to meet in person with him yet, but when the time comes it’ll come. As of now, like I said many times before, I need to focus on improving myself as a whole to reach the ideal person I want to be. You can do it! Fighting!
Things are definitely getting better. I think I just don’t want to lose contact with him
I have finally been able to let go.
lesson learned:
grow.